Jlogged

One of my many quirks is that I constantly think of things to tell my loved ones that prelude with if I die suddenly… For example, “Aaron, if I die suddenly make sure you clean out Lucas’ ears with a q-tip weekly. It gets really crazy in there if you don’t and his teacher might think he is being neglected. He will acquire so much ear wax; enough to make Shrek envious if you don’t stay on top of it.” Or “Aaron, if I die suddenly know that my deathbed wish would have been for you to re-marry and here is a list of acceptable replacements.”

A couple weekends ago when we were having our garage sale Aaron got a call that went a little something like this:

Me: Hey, I can’t talk long but I just need to tell you that if I die suddenly it is because I ate a homemade muffin out of the back of an old man’s minivan that was passing through from Oklahoma. The van was pretty beat up…a Chevy I think. He seemed OK, and I wasn’t going to eat the muffin but my blood sugar dropped and you know how I am about muffins. I’ll explain more later…unless of course I suddenly die. The wrapper is in the trash in case you need some sort of forensic evidence.

A: What?!

Me: Oh, gotta go…customer. *click*

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